2203. Saying, After I am grown old, shall I have pleasure? That this signifies that it was not of the affection of that truth that it should change its state, is evident from the signification of "growing old," as being to put off the human, and thus to change the state (as explained above, n. 2198); and from the signification of "shall I have pleasure?" as being not to desire; thus that this was not its affection. How the case is with these things is evident from what was said of Sarah above (n. 2196), that she stood at the door of the tent, and it was behind him; that is, that the human rational as to truth is of such a nature that it cannot understand what the Divine is, for the reason that that truth is in appearances; and therefore that which it cannot understand, it does not believe; and by that which it does not believe it is not affected.
The appearances in which the rational is, are such as to affect it, for there is delight in the appearances themselves; and therefore if it is deprived of appearances, it supposes that there is nothing of delight left; whereas heavenly affection is not in appearances, but in good and truth itself. As rational truth is of this nature, this is pardoned, and it is permitted to be in appearances, and to have delight in them. Such truth as was in appearances is represented by Sarah, when the Lord had conjoined Himself with the Divine, and therefore it is said that she "stood at the door," and that she "laughed and said, After I am grown old, shall I have pleasure?" By this is signified that it was not of its affection that it should change its state.