208. The second Memorable Relation:
When I was in meditation on the arcana of conjugial love stored up with wives, the GOLDEN SHOWER described above (no. 156e) was again seen, and I remembered that it was falling upon a hall in the east where lived three conjugial loves, that is, three consorts who tenderly loved each other. Seeing the shower, I hastened thither as though invited by the sweetness of the meditation on that love. As I drew near, the shower, from being golden became purple, then scarlet, and when I was close by, it was opalescent like dew. I then knocked at the door, and when it was opened, I said to the attendant, "Announce to the husbands that one who previously came here with an angel is again here and begs that he be allowed to enter and talk with them." On his return, the attendant, on behalf of the husbands, gave his assent and I went in.
The three husbands with their wives were together in an open court and returned my greeting with good-will. I then asked the wives whether the white dove had appeared at the window later.
They said, "[Yes, and] also today. Moreover, it spread out its wings, and from this we surmised your presence and your solicitation for the disclosure of yet one more arcanum respecting conjugial love."
 When I asked, "Why do you say one, when yet I have come hither to learn many?" they answered: "There are [many] arcana, and some so far surpass your wisdom that the understanding of your thought cannot apprehend them. You men glory over us on account of your wisdom, but we do not glory over you on account of ours; and yet ours excels yours because it enters into your inclinations and affections and sees, perceives, and feels them. You know nothing whatever about the inclinations and affections of your love, though it is these from which and according to which your understanding thinks: consequently, from which and according to which you are wise. Yet wives know them in their husbands so well that they see them in their face and hear them in the tones of the speech of their mouth, yea, feel them by touch on their breasts, arms, and cheeks; but from the zeal of love for your happiness, and at the same time for our own, we feign not to know them. Yet we moderate them so prudently that, by permission and sufferance, we acquiesce in everything that pertains to the desire, pleasure, and will of our husbands, merely bending it when possible but never forcing."
 I asked, " Whence do you have that wisdom?" They answered: "It is implanted in us from creation and thence from birth. Our husbands liken it to instinct, but we say it is of Divine Providence, in order that men may be made happy by their wives. We have heard from our husbands that the Lord wills that the male man shall act from freedom according to reason, and that his freedom which has regard to his inclinations and affections is therefore moderated from within by the Lord Himself, and from without by means of his wife; also that in this way the Lord forms the man with his wife into an angel of heaven. Moreover, if forced, the love changes its essence and does not become conjugial love. But let us speak of this more openly. We are moved to this, that is, to prudence in so moderating the inclinations and affections of our husbands that they appear to themselves to act from freedom according to their reason, because we are in delight from their love and love nothing more than that they shall be in delight from our delights; and if these become cheap to them, they also become dulled with us."
 After these words, one of the wives went into her bed-chamber, and on returning said, "My dove still flutters its wings, which is a sign that we may disclose more." They then added: "We have observed various changes in the inclinations and affections of men; as, for instance, that husbands grow cold to their wives when they think vain thoughts against the Lord and the Church; that they are cold when in the pride of their own intelligence; that they are cold when they look upon other women from concupiscence; that they are cold when urged by their wives in respect to love, besides on many other occasions; also that they are cold with varying coldness. We observe this from the withdrawal of sensation from their eyes, ears, and body at the presence of our senses. From these few examples you can see that we know better than the men whether it is well with them or ill. If they are cold towards their wives, it is ill with them, and if they are warm towards their wives it is well with them. Therefore, in their minds wives are continually reflecting on the means whereby their men shall be warm towards them and not cold; and they reflect on them with a penetration inscrutable to men."
 When they had thus spoken, a sound was heard as though the dove were moaning. The wives then said, "That is a sign to us that though we are eager to divulge deeper arcana, it is not allowed us. Perhaps you will disclose to men what you have heard." I answered, "I intend to do so; what harm can come from that?"
After speaking about this among themselves, the wives said: "Disclose them if you will. The power of persuasion that wives possess is not hidden from us; for they will say to their husbands, "The man is fooling you. These are fables. He is jesting from appearances and from the silly fancies common to men. Do not believe him; believe us. We know that you are loves and we obediences." Disclose them, then, if you will, but husbands will not put any dependence on your mouth, but on the mouths of their wives which they kiss."